Things I have learned in my lifetime

1. Icy Hot was NOT meant for the face.
2.Dreams are dreams, and reality is reality...except when one hallucinates while waking up from dreams...
3.Pliers and a hammer are not the best tool of choice to remove the stuck mouthpiece from a trumpet.
4. You aren't going to burn in the bad place for accidentally swallowing your mouthwash.
5.Mountain Bikes will not jump Cedar City irrigation ditches.
6. Pain is relative. (Think about it.)
7.Vacuuming only works when you've got a vacuum that really sucks.
8.Little kids rather enjoy the taste of crayons, paper, glue, and their own boogers.
9.Fuses from flasher fireworks when lit by themselves are like little fire squirrels.
10. There's more to everything and everybody than meets the eye.